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Goodness to Honest

by Elephant Jake

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1.
Locked In 01:54
I gotta sit down. I’ve been hustling all day, more like all summer and I’m starved. Fourteen long hours I’ve been gone. Yeah I missed you too, everytime I come home, I’m falling in love with you again. I guess it’s never too late to start cooking. There ain’t nothing wrong with a single cigarette, why don’t you go back inside, dinner isn’t ready yet. I’m sorry that I’m tired, but all I ever fucking do is drive. What’s a long day mean to you? You never fucking moved. “You’re never around. Nevermind your friends or self, I’m all that you'll ever need, because that’s the way it is for me. Logical next step, now we’re done with school so naturally I want a ring.” I guess it’s never too late to start looking to be locked in long for the worst time, just a little lesson Toby learned the first time. I’m sorry that you’re tired, me too. I’m losing my mind, I’m burnt out from everything I do. What does six years mean to you? I’m only 22. Lie, I’m a lie.
2.
Randy’s got an opinion and I think that I disagree, and I’m chalking it up to a different style of humor that’s lost on me. “You seem kind of familiar, because you think and you talk like me. And impossible though this attempt may be I’m always trying.” Tell me, do you feel the pressure to perform? Complaining “you took all my time.” Don’t tell me “it ain’t worth even trying,” or so I’ll help myself while you’re “that’s cool, whatever.” I’ve been watching people around me who work until they die, and I can’t help but damn the time they tried to buy. My friend says “can you give me a reason?” I know I had one once, but now I can’t remember. Decide what matters, pursuit of more? Look at me when I ask you if you’re sure. So get planning, every single day prioritize and sacrifice. You can’t do it all or you’re missing the chance I’m giving you now, so take it. I’m drowning at the bottom of the ocean. I can’t breathe, I can’t stand, I can’t see. Cold water’s indifferent to me. I feel him smile, says he’ll put our plan in motion. “You look like you’ve lost your way so take my hand and…” Randy doesn’t look at you like people, he’s got money on the mind, he’s got dollars in his eyes. Throwing around ideas that should be lethal, he don’t want a compromise, so ignore him and it's fine. It don’t matter, we’ll be fine. Decide what matters, pursuit of more? Look at me when I ask you if you’re sure. So get planning, every single day prioritize and sacrifice. You can’t do it all or you’re missing the chance I’m giving you now, so take it.
3.
Who’s gonna feed my dog when I succumb? Because the end of the world is upon us and I for one have not prepared enough. Who’s gonna sleep beside me when it’s late? And I’m sorry for asking again but I have difficulty hearing what you’re saying when you stutter, and I’m no better. We’ll just solve each little crisis here together. I took a little time off to look at what I’ve done and have and want and I came to realize that I am here alive goodness-to-honest, so I promise I will stay right here and I won’t waste my time concerned with things like Meyers and Briggs and how to respond to each situation. I guess I’ll never know whether for worse or better, we’ll just solve each little crisis here together. I took a little time off to look at what I’ve done and have and want and I came to realize that I am here alive goodness-to-honest, so I promise I will stay right here and I won’t waste my time concerned with things like Meyers and Briggs and how to respond to each situation.
4.
If I could just feel anything, I would stop sleeping away my weekends Because we don’t talk nearly as often I’m finding myself way more soft spoken Than I would like to be I can not finish anything And I can’t stop thinking About your bad habits Because now they’re somehow mine I find it funny You’re alone and so am I I wish it were healthy To call you when I feel down But, we shouldn’t talk every night I get it Yes I do But I have so much of nothing to say to you I talk with Colin by the fire Feels like we’re both 16 again We share the same dream Now, we’re 21 and it’s still not dead I know life’s only getting better With my best friends, and the road, and the jokes, and the tour, and the music
5.
Remorse 03:04
I’m sorry, no I’m not sorry But I wish that I knew what I know now Everyone that I love, they keep saying “You gotta figure it out” Can you show me how? I’m trying yeah I’ve been trying So many more times than I can count When I tell you “I love you” I mean it But I barely know how to get it out I’m thinking yeah I’ve been thinking “Just when does it start to go away?” I’m praying, yeah I’ve been praying I don’t think I can handle one more day I’ll keep quiet, yeah I’ll keep quiet Because I don’t think that I know just what to say When you tell me you love me I feel it I see I’ve been wrong in every way I want to hear what you’re saying And I won’t hold it over your(‘re) Head-ing out again And I won’t blame you for that I’m proud
6.
Still Care 02:51
I drive past your house Just to see what car you drive now We haven’t seen each other in as long as I remember It’s the only one with the lights on On the whole damn street I’m not sure why but it bothers me Why do I still care? I’ve been working on myself, I’ve been working on myself When will I grow? Yeah, I know I’m getting there, yeah, I know I’m getting there We take one day off our lives With every single one we smoke For some reason I don’t care right now And I’m trying to make it better I’m trying to do it right But for some reason, you don’t care right now Why do I still care? I’ve been working on myself, I’ve been working on myself When will I grow? Yeah, I know I’m getting there, yeah, I know I’m getting there
7.
I've been alone for too long, I've been alone for too long I've been alone for too long, and then I met you, yeah We can't get any simpler, it's easier when you're around at night And I need some talking to I can always count on you to let me know that everything's alright I'm just a year behind you Oh! Now it's graduation, and I've still got another year without you I can't handle you six hours north in the Adirondacks You said I'll visit you, yes I'll call you every morning It's been days and I'm starting to worry, are you alright? I'm not alright
8.
Haunt Me 03:12
Tell me why you have the right to haunt me Every day and every night you’re with me But I know someday, I’ll forget her I know someday, I’ll feel better But for now, I’ll remember That I’m not broken I don’t think that I’ll ever get tired Of watching you grow up You make our parents proud But I know that’d be lying If I said it didn’t hurt I’m watching us grow apart and you not need me Wishing we were young, holding hands in the street Reading books, and watching TV I’m alright
9.
Show restraint, not apathy, until you cannot any longer.
10.
Couldn't Be 04:04
I do not want any of this right now, so I’m looking ahead, and I’m pushing through, and I wonder if you’ll agree it’s overdue. Time enough will pass for this all to heal, but time’s thinking instead, I’ll keep seeing you. Every distant silhouette transforms in front of me. Moved all your things out of our old place. Drove down in silence to move them in for you. You invited me in, I guess I’ll never see him again. Sat down beside me, then said: “Why’re you feeling so distant? Look me in the eyes, don’t hide your face in front of me. I know one day you’ll find her, I hope she’ll be for you everything I couldn’t be.” You’d made a list of questions that you had. Seeking some closure, an exit interview. Left your arms and closed the door, to the car and turned the key. I can make me something more, but I needed more from me. Couldn’t do this anymore, because I needed more from me. “Why’re you feeling so distant? Look me in the eyes, don’t hide your face in front of me. I know one day you’ll find her, I hope she’ll be for you everything I couldn’t be.”
11.
I won’t waste The little time I have And I wonder how we got here It’s really not so bad Because leaving is sad But staying can be sadder When you wake up and you don’t Go for what you’re after Because I wanna know What makes you feel like living It’s about time that you got something When you’re so used to giving And I remember what you said clear as can be “Nothing feels real unless it’s right in front of me” I went to school out there But they don’t teach you that When you let your life slip by You can’t get it back Because I’ve spent weeks I’ve spent months Years in my bed If only I had a pill to get these voices Out of my head I know I’m worth it I know I am I’m getting good at that When I look you in the eyes And see everything I lack It takes some time It takes some love To go out on your own When I walk right through that door I see We'll make this house a home It really hurts to see Everyone getting older around me

credits

released November 15, 2022

Credits:
Tracking: Lucas Naylor & Andrew Demarest (tracks 9 & 11)

Mixing: Lucas Naylor

Mastering: Alan Douches at West West Side Music

Album artwork: Santo Donia

Music by Elephant Jake
Lyrics by Sal Fratto & Colin Harrison
Instrumental and Lyric Assistance: Lucas Naylor
Gang Vocals: Jackie DeRosso, Sofia Verbilla, Lucas Naylor
Cello: Alyssa Almeida

Thank You:
Santo Donia, Lucas Naylor, Alan Douches, Alyssa Almeida, Zack Zarillo and Many Hats Endeavors, Carly Cosgrove, Stand and Wave, Harmony Woods, Yendawg, Summerbruise, Sidra Droese, Jackie DeRosso, Carley Neilsen, Andrew’s physical therapists, 4333 Collective, Greg Mendez and Veronica Isley, Phylix Almentero, Jesse Schmid, New Vision, Oolong, Arcadia Grey, Honey, Be Well, Alliterarion, Dan Wixtrom, Mark Hurey, Justin Cole, The Novelty Collective, Luigi’s Mansion, Lucky Aide, Carson Hyde, Barry and Jo-Ann Hauptman, Stacy Arnold Butler, Claud Binion, Melissa Ressereccion, Anna-Marie Otor

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Elephant Jake New York

Colin Harrison- Guitar/Vox

Sal Fratto- Guitar/Vox

Kyle Mabee- Bass

Andrew Demarest- Drums

4 best friends from N.Y.
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